Blog

Wet from the waist up. Poor choices from the waist down. A short story about a man who has problems checking into a hotel.

He lent money without questions, watched Liverpool come back from 3–0 down, and had a favourite line from Dude Where's My Car. RIP mate.

A streamer's triumphant comeback broadcast takes a turn into the past, where old grudges get settled.

...let's play cricket! I have no idea what that means but it doesn't make much sense to me. My old PE teacher was psychotic about people going anywhere near the cricket square. Aggressive fella. Me bird at the time went to the school next door. He strolled past and she declared out loud "isn't he a weird shape". Everyone around laughed and he could do nothing as she was not under his jurisdiction. At lunchtime I went back to hers and she jerked me off while listening to Linge

I say "spoiler" but of course the likelihood is that film rights will not be taken up and my ideas will not be in a cinema near you by the time Avatar 97 comes out.

A cheerful song gets a different ending. Stanley knife, baseball bat, 1,440 alarm clocks set one minute apart. It goes on until it doesn't.