Paddy Bingo Wankathon

We've all done this, I know I have, and I'm Scottish so I can say this, but at half time during England football games, wearing the shirts of the team England are facing, which seriously damages my methadone budget, I get my best heterosexual Scottish mates around to mine and set the bingo caller's voice on Paddy Power to female Scottish - she's no Sturgeon but she'll do!

We then form a circle so everyone's got hold of someone else's Scottish micropenis and we heterosexually jerk each other off. We've all done this, I know I have, I know you have! The idea is to ejaculate at the point that number 69 is called, the closest gets to be the most heterosexual Scottish male since Kenny Dalglish, who of course won nothing internationally even when we, and by we I mean heterosexual Scotland, had some decent players. HETEROSEXUAL SCOTLAND! AYE!