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A poem about a man with hooks for hands. The challenges are numerous, the solutions are limited, the rhymes are impeccable.

A pizza-brand pun on Valentine's Day that takes a very dark turn. Short, sharp and not one for the sensitive.

A small spider retreats to his crevice every time I go for a piss. I have a few words for the eight-legged cunt.

Five-seven-five. The beautiful game reduced to seventeen syllables. Whether that's a tribute or an insult is yours to decide.

A three-line song parody. Rimmer is dead. Someone is tired and wants to go to bed.

Raymond van Barneveld. That's already six syllables. A haiku about the structural challenges of darts haiku.

James Wade, two threes, and a look from Rock that said everything. A darts haiku. Part of a series.

A haiku about Ruben Dias. The thesis is stated in the first line. It does not get more nuanced from there.

He wore expensive clothes. His favourite brand was Bose. A short poem. The Black Crowes are involved.

Phil Taylor's Power gets stronger by the hour. Caravan of love. A darts haiku. Part of a series.

Rey Mysterio has defeated the Big Show. He's much smaller though. A wrestling haiku. Part of a series.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley married Stephanie McMahon. Observations follow. A wrestling haiku. Part of a series.

Margarine Marjorie is about town. She's potting his brown. She's hunting for cock. A poem.

A wrestling haiku about Lita. Written under difficult conditions. Syllabically correct. Part of a series.

Bianca Belair's hair. A haiku. A request. Part of a series.

A haiku about professional wrestling. Grappling with the eternal questions, in the prescribed syllabic format.

A one-haiku tribute to Charlotte Flair. Heartfelt, anatomically specific, and almost certainly not reciprocated. Wrestling poetry at its most sincere.

Bowel Cancer Brown, the man about town, with never a frown. A rhyme that swears it's the last time.

A wrestling haiku in praise of Stone Cold Steve Austin's rear end. That's the bottom line. Part of a series.

A haiku about the wrestler Haku, for no good reason. The first in a series of wrestling haiku.