I've Got Hooks For Hands

I've got hooks for hands

And a rather small glans

So having a wank

Isn't part of my plans

And wiping my arse

Is a thing of the past

If I try it with hooks

I'll need help pretty fast

Taking a piss

Is a hell of a risk

I aim for the bowl

But invariably miss

Picking my nose

Ends with blood on my clothes

One slip of a hook

It's lights out I suppose

I've got hooks for hands

And a rather small glans

So having a wank

Isn't part of my plans