...we're gonna have a rumble! A couple of things inspired me to write this. The first was a reddit post where a guy asked what his girlfriend could carry in the way of 'legal' weaponry because they live in a dodgy area. The consensus was that anything carried for the purpose of being used as a weapon was therefore formally considered a weapon and as such illegal. Bit of a pisser really. Spray paint was a fave until that point because you could spray someone in the eyes, thus

Before COVID I did a lot of travelling, sometimes for work and sometimes for leisure. On one occasion at Vienna airport, I, along with everyone else, was asked what I did and why I was visiting Austria. The lady in front of me said she was a doctor attending a conference on the prevention of infectious diseases. Pretty hardcore, and I imagine she got much busier the following year. My truthful answer would have been that I write bollocks on the Internet and wank to Judge Judy

Hungover. To. Fuck. Whatever I'd done the night before I'd clearly done it to excess, I felt fucking awful. I lay flat on my back, almost scared to move. I was aware from the milisecond during which I'd opened my eyes that the room was very bright. That was why one of the pillows was now on my head, held down as firmly as I could on my face without suffocating myself. The task now was to lie there until I stopped hurting, or stopped hurting enough to actually move. The proble

A Direct Energy ad played seven times in a row in Houston and I started pricing up petrol. A World Cup trip rant, with one sunburnt testicle.

I stayed at the Wandsworth Premier Inn a while back, coincidentally at the same time that a geezer escaped from the nick there. COINCIDENTALLY.

AC/DC, a milf, and a result nobody saw coming.

I had suspected for a while that I was suffering from erectile dysfunction.

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At the risk of sounding like Rated R I have morphine, cocaine, alcohol, paracetamol and cannabis. The pain - it's always there and it needs to be managed. Except on the days I really hate myself where I just sit there and endure it until I cry. And then I endure it some more, grinding my teeth and wishing I was dead. Otherwise I bring myself up and down as I need with the rest. I'm fat and gaunt at the same time, capable of physical strength most can't dream of yet barely abl

Stacy herself is probably a MILF now Related: Counting Crows.

But... this was still a good idea, I'd probably like the mix of videos I've chosen as a stranger visiting here AND I am so much further on with my writing path than I would be. What you can't see is the dozen or so drafts that need working on. Obviously there's a lot of published stuff that is TBC or utter gibberish at the mo but most weeks I add a few details here and there which is getting me to the stage - I think - that most of the ideas that have been festering in my min

I thought you were a bit of a cunt at first, and to be fair you probably were. You probably (definitely!) thought I was one too. Wasn't that long though before you were lending me a hundred notes because my attempt at blackjack bonus abuse had gone awry a week before payday. Will never forget that. I never truly got to grips with your agoraphobia, certainly it wasn't a form of the condition I was familiar with. Am I a doctor though? No. You were able to leave the house alrigh