Should have gone to Hooksavers!

Hooksavers: for when you need a hand, but yours are already hooks!

I went to Specsavers today, not in Cleethorpes but for some reason I find it amusing that Google found their branch for the logo as opposed to anywhere else.

My therapist says I'm obsessed with having hooks for hands but quite frankly I don't know where she's coming from. She's got no evidence apart from me repeatedly writing about having hooks for hands, the hooks tattooed on my arms and the kickstarter I've started to fund the amputation of my arms ahead of having them replaced by hooks. She's the obsessed one if you ask me.

Anyway, someone told me that each individual Specsavers is a franchise so the main optician at each one is the owner. After the eye test, which went well albeit with a recommendation to cut back on the wanking, I knocked on the door of the boss to see if he wanted to partner up in Hooksavers. We're talking hooks, hook maintenance, accessories, the fucking lot. I'd just take 1% of profits for the idea plus free hooks for hands.

I even had an idea for an advert. A hook wearer spies an infidel and wants to impale them with their hook but it falls off. The infidel laughs and says "should have gone to Hooksavers!"

He told me to fuck off and I'm now barred from every Specsavers, including Cleethorpes.

It'll never come to pass of course now, but my personal hooks for hands dream lives on. HOOKS FOR HANDS! HOOKS FOR FUCKING HANDS!

Where it started: I've Got Hooks For Hands. The last part: Hooks For Hands IV: The Quest for Bobotie.