Hooks For Hands III: Somehow Abu Hamza Returned
Yes, yes I'm obsessed with having hooks for hands. I am fully aware of this but a new discussion point arose from Hooks For Hands II: Electric Boogaloo that warrants further investigation. It was suggested to me that there are three possibilities regarding someone seeking information on hooks for hands.
They already have hooks for hands
They soon will as dictated by the courts in their country as a punishment for a crime
A style choice
I like the idea of someone thinking a hook instead of a hand could complete their look. It also makes sense that if you're doing it voluntarily you only get the one done at first. As stated in Hooks For Hands, the original piece, while there are clear advantages to having hooks for hands it might not be for everyone. Best to get one done and make sure it matches your outfit before you do something you might regret later. A bit like getting your ears pierced.
In an ideal world some Tik Tok cunt would do it first and set a trend where there's a sudden hook shortage because all the kids have decided to follow suit. Certainly no drawbacks there.
Random Tik Tok cunt: I finally did it fam! (Waves hook in the air).
Suddenly Meghan Markle's got one, H from Steps, Ed Sheeran in a desperate attempt to undo the recent damage. Hooks for pets! Hooks for kids! Then the shortage! Questions are asked in Parliament! Ed Miliband is outraged!
Spokesman: We've seen unprecedented demand for prosthetic hardware this quarter, and we're doing everything we can to meet the needs of our customers. (Leaves camera shot, seemingly rubbing his hands together, assuming he's still got them).
Wouldn't be surprised though if this didn't happen organically and Big Steel or whoever makes the hooks engineered the whole thing. They withdraw supplies to create artificial scarcity, pushing up the price of the hooks, the price of steel and, presumably, their share price. Shameless profiteering at the expense of people just wanting to be fashionable.
Such is the world these days.
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